


Serva me, Servabo te

by BluMarine



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: And Much More - Freeform, Angst, Bottom Zayn, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Insecurity, Love, M/M, Panic Attacks, Rage, Rape, References to Depression, Sexual Abuse, Top Liam, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-09-16 20:48:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9289043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluMarine/pseuds/BluMarine
Summary: "Can you hate so much and love a person with the same intensity?"Zayn lost everything, there are only his problems now. His problems and a stranger.





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> HI EVERYONE!!  
> I'm BluMarine and well, I'm not good at introducing myself.  
> I'll just say that I'm Italian but I love English, so I decided to translate my fic into this language.  
> Please, note that (sadly) I've never been to any place where English is spoken, so my knowledge of this language is limited. You'll surely find some mistakes and I'd be grateful if you helped me with them. I take it as an exercise to improve myself.  
> Let me know what you think about it and if it's worth continuing.

Zayn woke up as soon as he heard the door slam and voices break the silence of the night.  
His heart leapt into his throat. It wasn’t a good sign, Nana and him never received visits. And if the visits were in the middle of the night, well, then it was definitely not a good sign.

He froze right in the middle of his bedroom. He hadn’t the faintest idea what to do. Should he go downstairs and play the hero or should he go to Nana and hide under her bed? The second option seemed very tempting.

He found himself letting out a strangled cry when he saw a shadow enter his room, calming himself down after realizing that it was Nana.  
The small woman hugged him tightly without saying a word and he didn’t hesitate to reciprocate the hug. That embrace lasted a few seconds but among the pounding of their hearts and the heavy tread of the strangers on the stairs, among the flickering and the sobbing of his Nana, he couldn’t help but feel as if it was the last embrace they would be given.

Nana broke the embrace, clinging to his arms. Zayn wanted to ask her so many things: What was going on? Who was climbing the stairs? Why in the middle of the night? And why didn’t they knock? What was she crying for?

“Listen, Zayn, I’m so sorry. I thought I had more time… you’re only 15 and this is unfair. No, don’t interrupt me, just listen carefully. I know that you won’t understand much right now but I need you to do what I’m about to tell you. Zayn, you have to hide yourself. It will happen… Bad things will happen to me and you have to stand still. Honey, close your eyes and grit your teeth, don’t get noticed and don’t come out of your hiding place for any reason, at least until you’re sure they’re gone. Then..”

“Marie! We ain’t got all night, come out!” The voices interrupted the seemingly senseless discourse of the old woman. They were close, probably already behind the door of his room that Nana closed before hugging him.

She pulled him by the bed and told him to hide under it. Zayn agreed because he didn’t know what else to do, that situation was really destabilizing. He felt the mattress bend, a sign that Nana lay down on it.

“Honey close your eyes now, your mouth, your ears. Please try to leave your body here and bring your mind elsewhere. Soon it will be over, I promise. But I want you to always remember two things: the first is that it’s not your fault, don’t put the blame on yourself for something you’ve not done; the second is that… He’s a tough guy but he’s not bad, he just needs someone to remind him who he really is. If you save him, he will save you”.

Zayn would have liked to ask her who she was talking about but at that exact moment the door flew open and fear took possession of him. He closed his eyes, clenched his teeth and covered his ears not before hearing his Nana whisper for the last time: “I love you Zayn”. 

Then just screams.


	2. CHAPTER 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE!
> 
> Yes, I'm alive and I'm finally posting the first chapter (yeee)  
> Sorry for the waiting, I'm a little bit busy in this period. Also, I didn't think translation was so hard. There are a lot of differences between English and Italian.  
> I'm pretty sure there'll be lot of mistakes, sorry for that.
> 
> If you want to contact me and ask me questions or even correct my bad English, [here's my blog](http://blumarine-ziam.tumblr.com)

The car was speeding along the deserted country roads. Zayn leaned his head against the car window and focused in trying to spot any road sign that could have told him where they were headed this time. After spending what seemed like ten minutes searching in vain, he gave up and went back to being wrapped in his thoughts.

 

He wondered where they were dragging him this time. He was tired, so tired of being treated like an object. Fragile, yes, but still an object. Who would’ve ever liked it? Zayn had become a heavy pack that was carried here and there, handled without a minimum of care until someone remembered the fragile word stuck on his forehead and then everyone became worried and began to look at him with that sorrow face that made his blood boil. Couldn’t they simply leave him alone? Didn’t he have enough to deal with?

 

The car stopped at an intersection and Zayn awoke from his thoughts. He turned to observe a boy who was about to cross the road, when the one that was to be his mom pulled him toward herself to hug him and kiss him on the forehead. The boy, who was more or less about his age, jerked from his mother scolding her and then he crossed the road and reached a group of guys who were waiting on the other side. The lady shook her head laughing and went on her way. Stupid, thought Zayn, stupid boy. How could he refuse the embrace of a mother? How could he be ashamed of that pure love that only a mother can feel for her child?

 

Zayn lost this bond eleven years ago, when his parents lives were cut short by a terrible accident. Then luckily Nana arrived. She filled him with attention and loved him as his own son. But now that his Nana was gone what would have happened to him? Would he find someone willing to embrace him? To love him? Or would he remain forever that fragile pack of which no one wanted to take care of?

 

Meanwhile, he noticed that the car stopped again, this time in front of a villa. What the hell was he doing there? He had been taken to the police station, to the orphanage, to hospital, to church and to the cemetery so far….nothing to do with a villa.  
His car door was opened and the cold air of January entered the cabin whipping at his face. He rejected the outstretched hand of the agent and braced himself as he got off the car. He shuddered thinking about what was expecting him this time. Nothing good he assumed having regard the previous visits.

 

He followed the others into the garden, past the black gate which now was slowly closing behind them. He couldn’t help but feel again that strange feeling of restriction, that fear of being trapped that had accompanied him in the last few days. Fear of being locked up in an orphanage, fear of being locked up in a police cell, fear of being locked up in a hospital room and fear of being locked up in one of those empty burial cells in the cemetery.

 

“Zayn?” A voice called him back and he realized he was stuck in the middle of the garden.

 

“Are you okay?” He opened his mouth to answer but a strangled sound was all that came out. When did his throat dry so much? He should have drank that glass of water which had been offered to him before leaving.

 

“Honey, is it another one of your crisis?” Zayn glared at the woman. He didn’t understand if she was trying to calm him down or make him even more nervous. He wanted to say so many things, like she should immediately stop calling him honey, and that he had absolutely no kind of crisis, although apparently everyone was sure of the opposite. He wanted to say he wanted to be left alone and sleep all day. He wasn’t really asking a lot, right? He wanted to say so much that in the end he said nothing. He hunched his shoulders to stop the tremor and tried to swallow but his dry throat didn’t let him. 

 

He started walking as soon as he noticed that one of the two men was heading towards him with an outstretched hand. He glared at him. Ten days had passed and still no one had understood that they didn’t have to touch him. What was so difficult to understand? They treated him like a fool, but they didn’t realize that they were the fools here.

 

“Sirs, can I know what brings you here?” A man, or rather a boy was watching them from the doorway. He stood there, leaning against the door with his arms folded and curious eyes. Zayn realized that he was the source of so much curiosity and immediately felt uncomfortable. How long has he been watching? Had he seen it all?

 

“Are you Mr. Liam Payne?” The agent asked, approaching him and showing him his badge.

 

Zayn thought he saw something change in the boy’s mocking expression at the sight of the badge. A flash of fear? Anger? Confusion? However it lasted so short that he became convinced of having only imagined it.  
In fact, the boy made a teasing smile and asked: “Let’s hear, what have I done this time?”

 

The unnerved agent asked again his name and the boy snorted. “I came answering the door, of course I am Liam Payne. Or maybe do I look like a butler?” Then, readjusting himself, added: “May I know what do you want from me now?”

 

“Can we come in?” 

 

The boy changed again his expression. “Do you want to frisk my house?”

 

Zayn looked at him incredulously. My house? Did he actually say it? But how old he was? How did he own a villa?

 

“Mr. Payne I invite you to cooperate and change your attitude. Staying defensive means hiding something. I’m not here for your personal affairs but if you continue behaving like this I’ll have to investigate” the agent said irritated.

 

“I’ve nothing to hide, agent. Anyway, that’s fine, come in.” The boy stepped aside letting in the two men before giving a quick look at the woman and the little boy, and then joined in turn leaving the door open.

 

“Zayn, is everything all right? Can we go on?” The woman asked, peering at him, still trying to find some trace of his almost crisis on his face. She smiled when she saw only confusion in his eyes and tried to instill safety with her grin, but it did little. Zayn wanted to ask some questions but as usual he just nodded and followed her inside the villa.

 

If from the outside the house looked big, well, from the inside it was a hundred times bigger. Zayn observed the décor. Everything in that room was screaming ‘extremely expensive’.  
He turned to stare at the home owner who in that moment was asking the two men to take a seat on the couch. Then he saw him sitting on an armchair right in front of the couch and rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt with an unnerving slowness. When he was done, he rested his arms on his knees intertwining his fingers and finally looked up. “So?” he asked with a mocking smile, as if he was talking to some friends and there weren’t currently two agents seated in front of him. 

 

“Mr. Payne, did you know Mrs. Marie Ross?” asked one of the men.

 

“Yes, it’s the lady who lives in that little house in the countryside outside the city, right? Why are you asking me this?” The boy answered surprised.

 

“Mrs. Ross passed away and she left-“ 

 

“What??” The younger boy interrupted him. 

 

“I’m sorry, I thought you knew. She passed away ten days ago, during the night of January 2nd” the man told him.

 

For the second time that night Zayn swore he saw something flashing in the eyes of the boy. Pain? Anger? Sadness? Who knows, maybe he knew well Marie. Maybe he too had felt the same sharp pain in his chest. The same pain Zayn felt at hearing the news said like that, without the slightest delicacy. Perhaps his Nana was also important for someone else. Oh, his Nana, what had she done wrong to deserve what had happened to her?

 

He jumped when a hand squeezed his shoulder, quickly moving away from the woman who had tried to calm him. He realized he had all eyes focused on him and this did nothing but worsen the situation. His knees began to shake a little too much and he was sure they wouldn’t have supported his weight much longer.

 

The other boy cleared his throat to get his attention and stood up. Zayn looked at him frightened. What were his intentions?  
He came back in the lounge with a glass of water in his hand and placed it on the coffee table. Then he pointed to the armchair on which he was sitting before and coughed again when Zayn didn’t move. Liam observed him. That little boy was standing there trembling and looking at him with those watery eyes and that bewildered expression of a stray. He realized then that he would have to speak: “You should drink… and sit. You don’t want to pass out here” he brought a hand on the back of his head as he spoke, evidently uneasy, he wasn’t used to being nice to someone, it was not for him.

 

Even Zayn was surprised. He wanted to decline his offer but if he didn’t sit he would have surely fallen and consequently he would have had them all around and it would have been worse, much worse. Also, he just needed a little water from the moment he stepped in the villa’s garden.  
As he took the glass with trembling hand and sat down, he kept his eyes down because he knew that everyone was watching him. He hoped he didn’t drop it, he had already made a spectacle today, that was enough.

 

“So…” He heaved a sigh of relief when the home owner that was sitting on a chair next to him called attention. He could literally feel the weight of the present’s looks moving away from him.

 

After he finished drinking the water he focused again on the speech that the others were making.  
“How… What happened, an accident?” 

 

“A murder. Mr. Payne, do you know if Mrs. Ross had some enmity? Do you have any idea who could have done that? And what could have been the reason?” One of the agents asked.  
The boy paused for a moment to think about it.

 

Zayn saw the exact moment when that boy realized something, he saw a shadow obscuring his face and his jaw clenching. But when he looked up again everything was gone, in its place there was a look of feigned calm. “No, I really don’t know”.  
‘Liar’ Zayn thought. He shifted uncomfortably in his armchair as if suddenly there were nails all above it. What was that guy hiding?

 

“All right. As I was saying before, Mrs. Ross has left a will” the agent continued. 

 

“A will?” The guy asked surprised. “And what have I got to do with this?”

 

“Well, it’s simple. If we have come this far it means that Mrs. Ross has left you something” the other man continued.

 

“And what, if she had nothing?” 

 

The agent was about to reply when the woman who until then has been silent on the sidelines, intervened. “Actually, Mrs. Ross had something” she said pointing to Zayn.

 

The two boys stared at her confused but after one minute both widened their eyes, looking at each other and shaking their head.  
“Wowowo, calm down!” The older one said, going back to stare at the woman. “I think I’ve misunderstood”.

 

“Instead I think that you have understood very well, Mr. Payne” she said.

 

“No. No, I don’t believe it, it can’t be” he continued undeterred. 

 

The agent pulled out a sheet of paper from his briefcase and started reading the affected part: “I also want to designate Mr. Liam Payne as the tutor of Mr. Zayn Malik, trusting that he will give him the right care and treat him as he deserves”.

 

Liam looked shocked at Zayn who was squeezing himself against the armchair in a vain attempt of disappearing.  
“Absurd” he said. “It’s absurd. I’m only twenty. I can barely take care of myself, how could you think that I could look after a kid?”

 

“If Mrs. Ross has chosen you as tutor it means that she’ll have deemed you responsible enough, or she wouldn’t have done it. That said, we had come personally to control the situation but it seems clear that it is everything in place. The environment is far from being degraded and your economic situation would allow you to support a whole family, so even here there are no problems. The only flaw is your character, but I think you can work on that. Who knows that with time this kid won’t soften you and make you less blowhard” the shortest agent said.

 

The other agent who had shown him his badge half an hour before, pulled out a second sheet of paper and a pen from his briefcase. “Mr. Payne, do you agree to be the boy’s tutor?”

 

Zayn wondered if his willingness had any importance but he answered his own question by recalling that until then no one had really asked him what he wanted. Surely, however, he didn’t want to stay there with that eerie Liam. 

 

The latter started to speak but the shortest agent interrupted him again. “Ah, I was about to forget it. Mrs. Ross has also left this” he said pulling out a letter from his briefcase and handing it to him. Liam took it and turned it over in his hands.

 

“Maybe you should read it. It could help you decide what to do” suggested the woman that at this point Liam identified as a social worker.

 

He pondered the idea. He didn’t want to do it. He hadn’t read the previous letters, why should he read this? Yet he needed to understand what the hell was going on. Why had she thought of giving him the custody of that boy? She knew him, she knew he was not suitable, he was not capable of doing that. Then why did she do that to him? He stood up abruptly making the kid jump in his armchair. “I… I need a moment” he only said before leaving the room.

 

“What do you say, does he seems nice to you?” The woman asked Zayn in the meantime. He glared at her. Was she kidding? That guy was weird, not nice.  
“Well, maybe he’s a bit abrupt, that’s true, but he isn’t bad come on! Besides, you have almost the same age, you’ll have a lot of things in common”. Then, noticing his expression not convinced at all, she added: “Zayn, listen. I know it’s not what you want, I know you didn’t imagine your life like this, but this is the best option, trust me. The alternative would be to spend two years in an orphanage. Here at least you’d be free to do whatever you want. Then, if you really don’t like it here, you can call me and we will find a solution. At least try”. 

 

Zayn looked down getting lost again in his own thoughts. He knew he would have never been lucky in his life, but find himself with the only option to choose between living with an eerie stranger or being locked up in an orphanage…well, that was too much even for him.

 

The silence was interrupted by the return of a very pale Liam. The first thing he did was run a hand through his hair and make eye contact with Zayn. After that he snorted and said: “Ok, where do I sign?”

 

In that exact moment Zayn felt conflicting feelings. He felt anger, frustration and fear because NO, he didn’t want to stay with him. But at the same time he felt a strange feeling of warmth in his chest and he didn’t know how to decipher it. It was something regarding hope, regarding the idea of being accepted. 

 

After having signed, the social worker advised Liam to continue bringing Zayn to the hospital psychologist and taking him out occasionally to distract him a bit. So Liam replied: “In a nutshell I have to babysit”.  
All those presents pretended not to have heard this last statement and stood up from the couch. All but Zayn, who was still trying to come to terms with what was happening. 

 

“So, honey, we have to say goodbye” said the woman approaching him but blocking halfway after having finally remembered not to touch him.

 

“Er, his luggage?” asked Liam.

 

“Here they are” the shortest agent said, re-entering the room. 

 

Liam observed the two old backpacks that were dropped on the couch. “That’s all?” he asked.

 

The agent nodded. “We’re cleaning up the house. When we’ll finish we’ll bring you the rest. It’s late, we have to go now. Goodbye boy, take care of yourself” he said winking at Zayn who forced himself to reciprocate with a tight smile and a nod of the head. 

 

Liam escorted the others at the door and after re-entering the living room he positioned himself in front of Zayn who hadn’t moved yet, nor he seemed willing to do it. He stood there, on that armchair, looking down and playing with the sleeves of his sweatshirt, not giving Liam the slightest attention.  
After a minute Liam realized that Zayn wouldn’t have raised his head, so he said snorting: “It’s almost dinner time, are you hungry?”  
Zayn shook his head, then he decided to let go his sleeves and looked up, carefully avoiding looking at the boy in front of him, focusing instead on the wall behind him.

 

Liam snorted again asking this time: “Do you want to do something?” But when he got no response for the umpteenth time he became nervous. “Listen, kid. I’m trying. Don’t challenge my patience because it’s really limited” he said heading towards the hall and grabbing a pair of keys and a jacket. “Anyway I’m going out now” he continued appearing again in the room. “If you’re not able to keep company it’s almost pointless to stay here. Let me know how the conversation with the wall goes, huh? Have fun” he said before closing the door behind him, leaving a really disoriented and frustrated Zayn alone.

 

The latter brought his knees to his chest and curling himself up, he whispered: “Happy Birthday, Zayn”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tadaaa(?)
> 
> So, I wanna thank everyone is trying to read this "weird thing".  
> I know it's kind of hard because the language isn't really good, but I appreciate your effort.  
> Also, some of you are truly supporting me in this, and I'm like: WOW. Thank you guys, I love you.


	3. CHAPTER 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE!
> 
> Yeah I know I made you wait so long and I'm so sorry!  
> Also I wanted to write something nice to make you guys forgive me but I'm not in a really good mood lately, so this is everything I could do. I'm sorry again!
> 
> Ps. thank you for all the lovely messages here and on Tumblr!   
> I know this looks boring, but I promise that the next chapters will be longer and we will enter into the real plot! (If you're still with me by then :')

 

That night Zayn didn’t sleep and Liam didn’t come back.   
Zayn remained in the same position for several hours. He stood there, curled up on that armchair, staring at nothing and asking himself questions to which he’d never find an answer.   
He felt the tingling all over his body, a sign that each of his muscles were numb since he hadn’t moved them at all. In addition, he was cold. Of course he was, what did he expect? Remaining motionless on a cold January night covered only by a miserable sweatshirt wasn’t exactly the best. Despite all he refused to get up and go in search of something warm. He wasn’t at his house, he still wouldn’t have known where to look. Besides Liam, with his immense sympathy, would surely have thought that he was poking around looking for something to steal. Best avoided.

He eyed the couch for a second, thinking about getting up and going to lie there but he let this idea slip out from his mind as well. That armchair, even if uncomfortable, was now warmed with the heath of his body. Not to mention that curled up on himself he could somehow hold back a bit of that warmth and don’t freeze to death.

Soon the first light of dawn arrived and along with it the sound of the opening gate.

Liam let the door slam behind him, careless of being no longer alone in that house. Yeah, he was no longer alone in _his_ house, wasn’t this the problem? How could he let him being so stunned by a few words put together? By some stupid reassurances and by a pair of watery eyes? And he thought he always made the right choice. A genius? No, he was a jerk, that’s what he was. He himself tied his hands and now he could no longer untie the knot. Wasn’t it what the morons did?

Liam had spent the night drinking, and the more he drank the more he realized how stupid he had been. And the more he realized, the more he felt the urge to slap himself.

He tossed his car keys on the cabinet in the hall and proceeded rapidly towards the stairs. The only thing he needed now was a hot shower and his bed. No other thought, no other concern.  
However his nice plan was altered in less than a minute. Damn.

Liam, who was already on the first steps of the staircase, stopped and thought about what to do for a second. Should he ignore the shadow he saw as he entered? He snorted, slamming his fist on the handrail. He turned back, running a hand over his temples and leaned against the open door of the lounge.  
That boy was still there, exactly where he left him several hours ago. The only difference was that he was probably a block of ice now.

Liam knew that the boy was aware of his presence. He could easily see the tension on his shoulders as he stared in front of him, still ignoring him.   
Looking at his flickering figure he wondered if it was the case of doing something, but then again, that kid wasn’t even considering him despite being in his house. Why should he do it? After all it was his decision, to remain motionless there, he wasn’t obliged to do so, right?

Liam decided to let it go and finally go take his shower. After a relaxing hot shower he went straight into his bed with the intention of getting a good sleep. As soon as he closed his eyes and began to get rid of his thoughts, an image of a cold boy curled up on himself came to his mind. He snapped his eyes open. It wasn’t possible, it really wasn’t. He blinked several times in the vain attempt to shoo that figure from his head. Everything was useless of course.  
He let a frustrated sound escape his mouth and kicked the blankets away with anger. That boy was there for less than twelve hours, he still didn’t do anything and yet he was already ruining his daily routine.

‘Absurd’ was all he could think of as he got up, opened the closet and pulled out a blanket. He coursed himself as he walked down the stairs barefoot, a very bad idea.

Arrived at his destination, he was caught by a sudden hesitation. How could he give him the blanket without him making strange thoughts? Last thing he needed was that kid thinking he was important to him. Because let’s be clear, he didn’t care anything about him.  
So he decided to throw it on him without telling him a word, but he did it with much less force that he expected. The reason? Surely tiredness.

He turned immediately and returned to his room, avoiding the reaction of the younger boy.   
He slipped back into his bed and sighed before closing his eyes again and losing himself in his dreams. Maybe this time he would’ve been able to sleep peacefully.

While Liam was resting in his room, downstairs, Zayn was tightly wrapping his body with the blanket, feeling inexplicably warmed both inside and outside.

 

__

 

_He was running, Zayn was running faster than he could but it was so dark that he couldn’t distinguish the walls from the floor. It seemed to him that he was rushing into the void, swallowed by the darkness._

_“Faster Zayn!” shouted a female voice and he clenched his fists frustrated, because he knew that voice very well. Why wasn’t his mom showing off? What was the point of hiding in the shadows? Didn’t she want to hug him too?_

_“Don’t slow down Zayn!”. And here it came his father’s voice too. What game were they playing? And why were they telling him to run? Was there a reason or was it something else senseless? Lately everything was so weird._

_He only wanted to embrace his parents one last time and they instead were doing nothing but scolding him and telling him to run faster, as if they didn’t know that he always hated physical education and running wasn’t really his favorite thing._   
_For the first time Zayn decided to stop. He was tired, his feet ached, and so his arms, his head, his heart._

_He heard the strongly angry voices screaming in chorus: “No!” and this made him shudder. He began to look desperately around, trying to find a way out, a little light, some familiar figure. Nothing, total darkness was all that surrounded him._

_His breath itched when the only thing he was sure about, crumbled under his feet. The surface on which he was laying his feet was literally disappearing, and so, from one second to the other, he found himself precipitating into the void._   
_A hand gripped his shoulder and he couldn’t stop himself from screaming and trying to get rid of it._

 

“It’s okay”. Someone was whispering to him. A voice that concealed a little bit of panic.

Zayn opened his eyes rapidly, trying to make himself smaller than what he was on that armchair. He looked disorientated at the boy kneeling in front of him, not recognizing him immediately. That guy seemed to be just as confused as him. He had his right hand outstretched but it wasn’t touching him. Zayn thanked him with a silent glance, then he get rid of the initial shock and all that happened in the last twenty-four hours filled his mind.   
He woke Liam up, as if he didn’t already hate him enough. Why had he been so stupid to fall asleep? He never did anything right.

“Um… well- are you okay?” Asked him as he looked to the other side and put a hand behind his neck, uneasy.   
Zayn widened his eyes in surprise. Was he really worried? “I mean” Liam continued, quickly getting up and moving a few steps away. “I was sleeping and you woke me up, so…” he left the phrase in suspense, not even knowing what he was blathering about.

Of course he was worried. Worried about his sleep. Zayn grimaced before nodding. That was all he would give him in response, Liam had to accept it. At least he wasn’t ignoring him.   
In fact in that moment they were exchanging a look, trying to communicate with their own eyes but none of them seemed able to understand the other.   
After a few moments the older one broke that kind of speech without words, backing away and turning.

When he disappeared from his field of vision, he released the air that he didn’t know he was holding back, abandoning himself against the armchair.

 

__

 

An hour later, hearing some steps down the stairs, Zayn pulled his head out of the blanket in which he was completely hidden.

Liam crossed the lounge taking long strides always looking ahead of him. He put his black jacket on the back of the couch and his mobile on the coffee table. Eventually he headed to the kitchen, obviously doing everything without paying attention to him. Two minus later, he came out with a tray in his hands that was then settled right in front of Zayn. The latter looked surprised at the plate containing a sandwich, a glass of water and an apple.

“I’ve just talked to Helena” the older said as he adjusted his tie. “She told me you have to eat even if you don’t want to. And that’s what you’ll do, because I have to go to a meeting now and when I come back I don’t want to find unconscious people in the house”. Noticing that the kid preferred to look at his feet rather than at him or the food that stood there in front of him, he added: “We understood each other?”

Zayn nodded blushing a bit, because damn it, he looked like a child.

“Good” continued the other. “Ah, another thing. Helena also told me that you have to go back to school and that everything you need is already in your backpack. So get ready, because tomorrow you’ll start again”.

Liam slipped his jacket over his shoulders, glanced at his very eye-catching watch and grabbed his phone sliding it into his pocket. “I’m going. I don’t know when I come back but when I do I’ll better find that dish empty. And don’t even try thinking about throwing the food in the junk, I wasn’t born yesterday” he said before leaving the lounge. Zayn heard the door being opened and then closed but he didn’t even have the time to sigh defeated that Liam’s head reappeared from the atrium. “Anyway” he told him, “you can take a tour of the house if you want. Just stay away from my room. Upstairs, next to the bathroom, there are two empty rooms. Pick one for you. DO NOT enter the rooms with the doors closed” he concluded, emphasizing the ‘ _do not_ ’.

He disappeared again behind that door and this time Zayn was sure he was gone because immediately afterwards he heard the engine of a car turned on.  
The first thing he did was quickly getting up and then run into the bathroom. Or at least try to do it, because he ended up lying on the floor like a sack of potatoes as soon as he gave himself momentum. He cursed at the sleeping muscles of his body and began to move his arms and legs at random, trying to stop that annoying tingling feeling.

He stood up after a good few minutes, this time more calmly, and realizing that he was finally able to stand on his own legs, he walked at a moderate pace toward the stairs. When he arrived at the top of the staircase he easily located the bathroom as it was the only room facing him, the other four lateral. 

He watched in amazement at the large glass shower box that he could already see from his position. He approached it, blushing at the thought of taking a shower in there. The cabin was completely transparent, without curtains and without any design in a matt color. It didn’t cover anything. He was living with another guy, wouldn’t it be embarrassing if one of them entered the bathroom while the other was taking a shower? He pushed away that thought before letting his mind wandering a bit too much and finally went in…the bathroom? Or should he call it an alternative bedroom?

Although Zayn had never had a big house, he knew there were people who had huge bathrooms with both bathtub and shower. But never in his life would have thought that it was possible to find a plasma TV in a bathroom.   
And that TV wasn’t the only thing that surprised him. He looked astonished at the black marble of the walls until his eyes rested again on the TV. Underneath it there was even an electric fireplace! In front of this wall there was a white and oval bathtub, while on the other side of the room there were all those things that one normally finds in a bathroom. Well, as long as those long furniture made of black marble with some silver details and that infinite mirror that, above those furniture, crossed the entire right wall could be called normal.

But who the hell was living there, a king?

 

__

 

After resuming his things from the couch in the living room and finally taking a shower Zayn randomly choose what would become his own room. The whole thing still seemed absurd to him.

He entered the first open room he saw and dropped his backpacks on the ground. He looked around, trying to find something familiar, something that made he feel like he was home and not in a cold room of a huge villa belonging to a stranger. A very rich stranger. And young. And cute. And even an asshole. He prevented his mind to go in search of other adjectives that could describe Liam, not sure what turns his thoughts were taking.

He dragged his feet to the large double bed, looking astonished at it. He didn’t need all that space since he never slept in a real bed but in a simple little bed that was the best his Nana could give him. He wondered if it was the case to occupy that room, but something told him that there was the same identical bed in the other one, so it was useless to go and check.

He sighed as he sat and leaned back against the pillows closing his eyes. He brought his hands on his face, sliding it slowly from his temples to his chin and finally bringing them back to his eyes. He hated these moments when he didn’t know how to feel. He’d surely have all the reasons of this world to be angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated…but truth was that he didn’t feel anything at the moment, and that frightened him.   
He preferred to cry to the exhaustion for his Nana because that woman deserved all his tears, rather than feeling that terrible anguish cause by his inner void. Zayn hated these moments because despite his efforts, he couldn’t feel anything, he only felt empty and insensitive.

Totally emotionless, just like a robot. 

 

__

 

Later, the front door opened and closed behind a Liam somewhat stressed. As usual his _business meeting_ had proved to be all but pleasant. They asked him for approvals they knew he didn’t want to give, knowing very well that he was aware of what would’ve expected him if he ever refused. He had witnessed it too many times.

He loosened the knot of his tie with a sigh and then glanced at the lounge, looking for that kid. The room was dark but Liam let out a surprised “Oh” when he turned on the light and realized there was no one there. He was really sure to find him still there.   
He almost had a panic attack when he realized that his backpacks were missing too, and he thought he had been stupid leaving him alone during all that time because he knew Zayn didn’t want to stay there as much as he himself didn’t want to have him there. And what if he went away? What if he was now wandering through the streets of that city? At that hour? And all alone?

He pulled his hair in frustration. Marie gave him a task, only one. And he was already miserably failing. He laughed bitterly when the famous phrase his father always reserved exclusively for him resounded in his head: “ _You’re a disappointment_ ”. There wasn’t a day that his father didn’t tell him so, and since when he passed away, there wasn’t a day that his mind didn’t remind him of it.

He pounded his fist on the armchair’s back. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Going to look for him? His gaze fell on the tray resting on the coffee table. Untouched. That kid was so obstinate that he didn’t even eat before leaving. Twenty-four hours without sleep and without eating anything, and he even had the courage to leave the house in that state. How stupid was he? He tried to silence the voice that was reminding him he was a stupid too. He had to go and retrieve him, didn’t he? He couldn’t leave him alone in those conditions, and anyway it was his duty. Now that he had foolishly accepted to be his tutor he had to assume the responsibilities.

He quickly climbed the flight of stairs with the intention of picking up Helena’s phone number he had left on the bedside table in his room. In the end it was better if it was him the one warning her rather than finding again the police behind his door.

He nearly tripped on the top step seeing something that looked like a backpack suspender sticking out one of the empty rooms. There was also a dim light on. After steading himself he rushed to that room, almost throwing himself in. He brought both his hands behind his neck, closing his eyes and sighing relieved.   
When he blinked them open again he almost laughed, relieved of that tension accumulated during the whole day. He glanced at the slim figure of that boy sleeping in a somewhat uncomfortable position. His legs were tangled with the sheets , one arm dangling from the edge of the bed, his shoulders leaning against the pillow on the bed’s headboard and his head falling on his chest. Liam had no doubt that the next morning the boy would’ve woken up with a terrible stiff neck.

As he picked up the backpacks and placed them on the white desk he heard small whimpers and he turned right in time to see Zayn turning his face to the other side, clutching his shirt and pulling it several times as if he was trying to get rid of something. He got closer to his face beaded with sweat and was about to fix a strand of hair covering his eyes but stopped, remembering that the boy didn’t want to be touched. He felt a strange feeling of sorrow, noting that the boy had a tormented expression even in a moment of serenity like sleep.

He suddenly stepped back when that feeling grew heavier inside him. ‘ _No, it’s not my fault_ ’ he thought shaking his head. He left the room, closing the door softly behind him and leaned against it. ‘ _It’s not my fault_ ’.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, if you managed to read this small prologue and you're thinking about giving it a chance, well, I applaud all of you.


End file.
